Still trying to Hold Onto Water
September 25, 2011
Time just keeps slipping through my fingers and as much as I try to hold onto memories or moments they are fleeting. This pregnancy is no exception. It’s number 4 but it might as well be my first. The weird aches, heart burn, waddling, weight gain, all these symptoms are just as annoying!! But I’ll forget all those parts and yearn again for the kicks, punches, and wiggles from within. The times when my hand meets my baby’s hands only separated by a few layers of flesh can’t be minimized. Each time it makes me fall deeper in love with a person I’ve never met but I’m closer too than any other person on this planet.
Even though this is our last pregnancy it is still hard for me to answer this is our final baby when people ask. I usually reply, ‘most likely’ when I know Brian will be sitting on a bag of ice in 6 months or so. 4 kids is great, nice even number, I’m still young and by the time I’m 50 all my kids will be at least 18 but deep down I know I will never feel done having kids. Why would I ever want to stop experiencing life within me?? The miracle of knowing God is knitting a life in my womb. I want to continue to hold my baby shortly after birth and feel a multiplying of love that can only be Divine. Again and again and again, it would never get old.
But this is it…. fourth and final. I’m sad 7+ months are already over but so excited to meet our new son or daughter. God has been so good and I at least know that God is more than capable to overcome any birth control if it’s His will to continue to multiply our family.
